Beast Battle Simulator - The Ultimate Battle of Beast vs. Beast!

A silly game of animal fighting, soccer, and bad physics

Now Entering the Ring...

There's a long and proud history of arguing about what kind of animal would beat another type of animal in a fight. It's the kind of conversation topic that's kept friends entertained on long car trips for decades, but it's also increasingly become the kind of thing that you can settle with the right game. Beast Battle Simulator follows in the footsteps of the various Battle Simulators out there by letting players pit groups of animals against one another to see which might finally be declared the ultimate victor.

Who Would Win?

This game is pretty much all concept, which is a shame because the concept itself is pretty silly. The game asks players to put together opposing armies of animals to see who would win. Sometimes this means augmenting the animals with a host of weird upgrades, but it's mostly just smashing action figures together until one set or the other comes out victorious.

It's impossible not to compare this game to Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, and that's probably because the game is a direct rip-off.

No, you don't see double - you've pretty much-seen everything this game has had to offer elsewhere. The big difference is the soccer mode, but even that is just a tiny flourish on an otherwise very similar concept.

Not the Best in Show

There's a certain aesthetic that this type of game tends to follow. If you've ever played anything like Goat Simulator, you kind of already know what you're going to get here - graphics that look about a decade old, but that seems to be done in that style on purpose. There's kind of a 'point and laugh at how dumb this is' aesthetic going on here, for better or for worse. In this case, though, it is for the worse.

The audio, by the way, is just as bad. It's low effort and awful, so you're going to end up spending more time muting it than anything else. Given that this game mostly seems to be made just to stream, though, you might not ever actually hear the audio when you see this game played. At the very least, it feels like the developers spent exactly as much on audio as the end product deserved.

Game, Set, Match

This isn't so much a game as it is a simulator. You set up big groups of things and see what happens. The humor, such as it is, comes from the incredibly wonky physics engine. Things move and fly about in ways that they should not, and some people will inevitably find this funny.

The game gets worse when it tries to be a game.

Whether it's the soccer mode or the challenges, the game suffers when it wants you to do anything beyond simple fights. The giggles give way to frustration, which gives way to the feeling that this isn't a very good game after all.

Who's the Winner?

Yes, Beast Battle Simulator is probably going to end up getting some traction on streams. If you enjoy watching it, that's great - but you probably won't enjoy playing it. This is a low-effort simulator that doesn't even meet the low bar set by the rest of the genre. Avoid this one if you can.

TL/DR

Beast Battle Simulator is an animal-fighting simulator that's better in concept than in execution.