Battle simulators are a small part of the gaming world, but they have their adherents. Usually used to either settle arguments or to make videos, they're not exactly games insomuch as they are simulators that give players a fair bit of control when it comes to set-up.

...funny and irreverent...

If you're looking for a good simulator, one of the best to try out is Totally Accurate Battle Simulator. The name is a bit tongue-in-cheek and taking the time to look at what makes the game work will definitely help you figure out if you are part of the target audience.

Who comes up with this stuff?

What would happen if you had an army of knights fight an army of wizards?

...silly animations...

What about a thousand crossbowmen fight a Greek god? Those questions are at the heart of Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, a game meant to help players answer some of those "what if?" questions.

Just like the other, older battle simulators out there, this game is really about setting up a handful of battlefield variables and watching what happens next. This particular iteration puts a premium on comedy, though, with goofy-looking figures and a definite trend towards silly animations.

Function over form

There's not really a nice way to say this - Totally Accurate Battle Simulator is ugly. This is probably by design, of course, but it's still very true. All the characters look like particularly ugly stick figures and all the backgrounds are fairly basic.

The point of this game isn't to look pretty, though - it's to have big battles, and the game does very well the animation on that score. Everything is suitably silly and bizarre, and it all works.

The audio is fine, of course. It's not as cringe-inducingly bad as the graphics, but it's also not so silly that it seems to serve an aesthetic. Instead, it seems to just be there because it's supposed to be there.

More gameplay, please

In all honesty, the gameplay here is pretty sparse. It's not bad for what it is, though - you're going to have the most fun just setting up odd battles and figuring out what happens next.

...not much strategy....

This isn't really much of a strategy game, though, even though there is a campaign. Instead, it's more of a game where you set up the variables and see how things shake out. For some, that's an amazing gift and one that will provide endless amounts of entertainment. For others, though, it's going to grow old very quickly.

TL/DR

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator certainly isn't a game for everyone. If you like putting together theoretical battles and letting them play out, though, you'll have a good time. There's enough content here to have fun for a bit, though even that will probably get old after a few hours of playing around. While the novelty lasts, though, you'll get some laughs and have a great time.

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator is a comedic battle simulation game with an emphasis on wacky physics.

How to play TABS

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator is in early access on Steam, Epic, or Xbox.

Nintendo Switch and PS4 coming in 2021.